"Okay," she thinks, "this will be fine, helpful even," as she gives another piece of herself to someone else. Another piece of her heart is willingly broken off and given to another person in her life. Once again a person misuses that gift and ends up costing the girl a great deal of conflict. So many emotions are swelling up inside of her. Like ten different people all not getting what they expected out of a situation with ten equally different reactions. Except that it was just her. "Do, I deserve this? Did I do something wrong? Does this happen to everyone...or just me?" she wonders.
"Well not anymore. I will not be the
only one that gets hurt." she decides. Feeling a whirl of anger, hurt,
disappointment, violation and determination she decides to finally do something
about this.
She approaches each person holding a piece of
her. With the slightest of small talk she reaches and forcefully rips the piece
out of their grasp. Immediately the piece turns to ash. Every single time the
pieces turn to ash in her hands. Still convinced she needs her pieces she collects the ashes in a glass jar. As she approaches
the last person and has the same result of ash she becomes irate. She grabs the
jar and runs. Each time her feet hit the ground a tear does the same. "This wasn't supposed to happen,"
she thinks, "This was not supposed to be me. I did not mean for this to
happen. This not what I wanted. This is not what I thought it would be."
As she thinks these things she begins to
concentrate less on her surroundings and trips on something on the ground. So
enveloped in her thoughts and feelings, this takes her by surprise and she
falls face forward sending her jar to the ground as well. She hits the ground
with a thud. The jar shatters on the ground near her head. Struggling to
breathe she tries to pick herself up. Seeing the broken jar sends her into a
panic. She scrambles up and over to the jar trying to gather what is left of
herself in her hands. This is the first
time she had realized that she had nothing left. She had either given too much
or been stolen from so many times that she had no pieces left for herself.
Nothing to identify with. Nothing to convince her that she was still worth
living. "Great...I have nothing now. There is nothing. I am nothing.
Nothing." she thinks.
At that thought she collapses in tears. With
a death grip on her ashes, she rocks
back and forth weeping. She doesn't even feel real anymore. She feels useless
and worthless. As her weeping is becoming increasingly louder a man in white is
walking closer. He comes to her and sits with her as she cries. He wraps his
arms around her and rocks with her. As he embraces her she feels a peace that
she has never experienced before. His love covers her and warms her like the
finest of blankets.
Still having a death grip on the ashes, she
notices that something has changed. She looks down to see a most beautiful
crown in her hands. She brings it up to eye level to examine it and finds a
name engraved on it. At once she realized. The Son of God was right in front of
her and the crown was engraved with the name only God called her. A wonderful,
special name unique only to her. She then realized her true identity. With tears in her eyes, she looked at the man
and he smiled.
He took the crown from her hands and gently put it on her head.
He kissed her forehead and called her by the special name. He then began
proclaiming his immense love for her.
She was listening so intently that she hadn't realized until much later
that her clothes had changed. Instead of a plain shirt and pants she was
wearing a stunning white dress that was made just for her. It fit every curve
of her body perfectly and she radiated beauty. As he finished proclaiming his
love, he took her hand and began to twirl her. She twirled and spun with the
loving One. Realizing that her worth is only found in him, she thanks him for
everything he has done. He smiles and says, "You, my child, are worth it
all." Isaiah 61:3
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