Love and a Lost Boy

   Love and a Lost Boy

       
        Headphones in, he’s blocked the rest of the world out. He turns towards the music to tell him how he feels. He escapes within each lyric, in each line, in each drum beat and guitar string being tweaked. The artist seems to be singing just for him. He relaxes and takes a deep breath. He realizes this will be the last song he’ll ever hear. The last time he will sit in his room with the door shut, away from everyone.

        He takes a minute to think about all of the memories. A few are nice, but most bring back feelings of confusion, anger and hopelessness. Images of his parents yelling flash through his brain. Images of him rushing into their room when realizing a fight had started. He protected his mom naturally. His dad was sometimes stronger than he realized. Or so he told himself. Every time this happened.

        The song has ended and he realizes what he must do. Neatly sitting the ipod down on his bed, he gets up and makes his way to the door. Every step he takes seems to get heavier and heavier. He puts on his coat and walks out the door of his room. He turns to carefully shut the door. He then walks down the stairs to the kitchen. Finding his favorite soda, he takes one last sip before heading out the door.

        Outside of the house, he feels the cool air while walking to his car. He backs out of the driveway and tears up at the sight of both of his parents’ cars in the driveway. He knows they are asleep and won’t notice he is gone. Driving down the road, he thinks once again about his pain filled, miserable life. How no one will miss him. How this won’t even reach the news until a month from now when the school finally calls and asks why he hasn’t been in attendance. He thinks about his friends- acquaintances really- and how they won’t even notice his disappearance. He is a vapor in the wind. No, he is the wind. There, but never really noticed; taken for granted until it gets uncomfortable.

         As he drives he notices all the houses along the roads. He imagines children playing outside with their parents and dogs running around following the kids. He imagines elderly couples walking down the sidewalk holding hands. All these people seem to be so happy, so carefree.

        As he finally arrives to a clearing in the woods near a park that no one goes to this time of night, he finds somewhere to rest his car.  His headlights shine brightly, illuminating the trees and grass. He takes the keys out of the ignition and sits them on the top of the car. Maybe someone who is in need of a car will find the keys and use the car to get where they need to go. After all, he did just fill it up with gas this morning; a free car and free gas to whoever finds it first. He reaches in the glove box to pull a gun that would ultimately end his fears and his pain. He gets out of the car and shuts the door.

    

        Walking past many trees, he tries to find the best spot. Not too close to the road. He nears a tree with flowers growing on it. The flowers are white with four petals total. He has heard a few people call this kind a dogwood tree. As he pulls the gun near enough to check to see if it is loaded and ready to fire, he sees something out of the corner of his eye. He glances up and sees nothing. He returns to checking the gun so that it is ready for use and won’t cause any complications. There it is again. He sees something; something white in the corner of his eye. Annoyed at the disturbance of his plan, he looks up once more to see what is going on.

        He sees. He freezes. He can’t move. He can’t speak. He can barely even think. THUMP. His jean covered knees hit the soil. He begins to weep uncontrollably. The tears rushing out of his eyes are blurring his vision. He wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.

       

        “Son, you have always been the joy of my life. The reason I died. You are loved, more than you can even imagine. Now get up and show this world the same love,” says a man dressed in white.

        All the boy can do is nod. This man, he is glowing from head to toe. Not a radioactive, alien glow. But a glow that begins from within. The kindness in the man’s eyes, the reassuring smile on his face, he knows this man is The One. The one people only read and talk about. The Son of God and he is seeing him for his own.  Oh how glorious! Oh, how radiant and full of life he is! Not the lungs full of air, heart beating, kind of life, no, true life. All he can do is fall upon his knees and bow. All he can do is the one simple task he was given. To show this world love. The same love that just put all of his own fears to rest. The same love that just took all of his pain and hopelessness and replaced it with an abundance of love, joy, peace and of course hope. The hope he thought he had lost.

        The man began to walk towards him. Still on his knees, the boy sat in adoration of the man born of a virgin. As the glowing man approached with his hand out, the boy also stuck his hand out. The man helped him up and gave him a confirming hug and smile.

        “I know. I forgive you,” the man said without him having to utter any words of repentance or shame.

         With a heartfelt “Thank you” from the boy, the man disappeared.

        The boy walked, head held high, out of the woods and towards his car. It was daylight now. On top of his car sat his keys and now a book. The book was told to be the book of instructions before leaving earth. He treated it as such, as he now planned on leaving earth at the time he is meant to, not the time he chooses to. He took the keys and the book and got back into his car.

       

        Starting the car, he began to drive back home. As he drove to his house where his sleeping parents lay, he began to pray, for the first time in years. He talked to the man he had just seen and thanked him again for saving him…more than once he knows. The boy finally returned home and unlocked the door of his house.

         The house is silent. He is happy to know his parents are still asleep in their bed. Walking past their room to his own he thinks of how he loves them and how he is glad he can be here for them. He will start his task given by the man with showing them the love he has received.

        The boy never once contemplated ceasing his life again. The hope was there the love was there. He did not feel alone or unappreciated anymore. His joy overflowed into others he was around. The task he was given was no longer even seen as a task but a way of life. Love is his life, and Hope is foundation.